Message from Kaye - Sept 10, 2007
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Dear Angels:

          As the days seem to fly by to get me to 80, I feel more like I'm going on 90. Things seem  be falling apart quick as a flash. I really don't know what's going on. I seem to be able to answer other peoples questions but when I try to figure out my own I draw a blank.

           I never worry about Edwarda (what would happen to her if something happened to me first) Colleen and Ricky would be here but they couldn't take care of her alone especially since Colleen got M.S. I still believe in my heart Edwarda will wake up before I go but I'm starting to worry.

           I've wondered how many of you would have chosen the path I took. I wonder if you would drop me a line saying yes or no. I really would like to know. It would help me a bit.

           I am asking crazy things and seeing too much. I need for Edwarda some white soft wash clothes. I use them to go over her feeding tube. (can't have designs or colored ones due to the fact some color can enter her through the tube). The ones we still use have been washed so often they are hard and leave marks on her. For 37 years she always has been kept perfect. Now as I look at her she looks tacky.

          All the different people from companies that send her moisturizing lotions and soaps of have retired and the new people stop sending so lotion is scarce.

          Now for me I know a lot of people change the dish towels every so often. Mince are falling apart. I have been using the same 12 for 15 years. Funny how different things get important.

I want you to know how much I've appreciated all of your love, compassion and prayers, I need them more now than ever. Please don't think badly of me of anything if anything I do doesn't measure up to your expectation. You've kept us going a long time and somehow it's hard to always be a taker and not a giver.

I'm working hard on the book and will keep going at it till it's done.

I never knew there were so many people from all over who would care for someone they didn't know. But your all angels and wonderful. God will have to repay you and I am sure he will.


                                     WWW.EDWARDAOBARA.COM

It seems much as things change they stay the same. I feel like I’m starting all over again. I seem to be getting the same questions as I got it 1970. People asking about Mercy Killings, what’s it like to have to care for someone in a coma and how can you do it. How often do you go out, do you get lonely are just some examples.

            If God gave you the chance to live your life over how much of it would you change? Would you be able to tell people they should do the same thing you do? I answer, I wouldn’t change anything I choose to do but I don’t believe everyone has to do the same. I believe God will give us each the answer in each particular case.

            When Edwarda fell sick in 1970 she was the exception, most people who had to make this decision would either let their loved one go or send them to a nursing home where they stayed. Back in the 1970’s the nursing homes were cold. Some still are but some are great. The trouble with that for someone like Edwarda is she could never ask for help, so she’d need a private nurse.

            This may seem like an odd letter for me but as I approach 80, I realize I am not going to be here forever. I also had the advantage of having the Blessed Mother as my caregiver since 1990 and I am Blessed for that. She has been and still is a great comfort to me and I know she watches over us. It is she who have brought all of you to be our angels and I am grateful to each of you.

            This last month we have had a series of different visitors; a group of 32 people came by charter bus from Wisconsin to visit, a mother and dad who had lost their 2 yr old by drowning and couldn’t deal with it came one Sunday and 8 more times and can now accept it. The people have been great. They come with different requests and most have been granted.

            I’m back to sitting with Edwarda and holding her hand. People have changed, before there was always someone to run to the store etc. Now everyone is busy with their own troubles. I don’t blame them the world is just moving too fast.

I want to thank each of you for all the kindness you have shown us. Now all I can think of is Frank Sinatra’s song “My Way”.

And now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain.

My friend, Ill say it clear, I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full. I’ve traveled each and every highway.

And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do.  And saw it through without exemption.

            I planned each charted course. Each careful step along the
            byway.

But more, much more than this, I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew. When I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all, when there was doubt,

I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all.

And I stood tall, and did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried. I’ve had my fill, my share of losing.

And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that, and may I say not in a shy way.

No, oh no not me, I did it my way.

 I hope and pray God is satisfied with me doing it “My Way”.

             I need to have a raffle and didn’t even have the chances printed doing them my way as I had in the beginning.  If you can help and purchase some chances it would help us greatly.

            Say a prayer so I can concentrate enough to finish my book. The Blessed Mother has given me a deadline of two months so everyone will realize what a wonderful gift God has given Edwarda.

 

                                                                                                                                                        God Bless,

                                                                        Mary Keep,

                                                                           Kaye